Finding the Blessing…

Since I was a little girl my life has been rough, but as I got older rough became tough and tough became a struggle. The one thing I always have admired about myself is the fact that despite the odds that I was up against I never gave up or gave in.

My story is simple yet complicated. I was raised in foster care. I am the youngest of four brothers and the only girl. My mother is an addict and my father was an addict who vanished from my life. I was afforded the same opportunities as any other regular kid, with the exception that my mother and father were absent from my life by their inability to make the right decisions. So I was to be considered a ward of the State. I am expected to become a “statistic”, but i had better plans for myself.

At the age of 16 I got emancipated. I just got tired of living with different people and being mistreated or demanded to do things. I knew that within myself that I had to be better than where I came from. I pushed and pushed and i succedded. I managed to care for myself and attend school. I graduated on time and began living my adult life.

At the age of 24 I am now realizing that life brings curve balls and its up to you to catch them. I have been through so much, but I refuse to give up. I am a survivor and I am destined to be great!

I found that life itsself is a blessing, and being able to experience it is ultimatly the ability  to make lemonade out of the lemons you are given…

Finding the blessing is not the hard part..

Living is.

Learn to love, Accept, and Live freely

God never puts to much on you that you can’t bare

he gives you just enough because he knows that you can handle it all.

You just have to believe in yourself…

Life After a Break up…

My life has become more and more consumed with work and work people. I have noticed how much time i have put into people who won’t even jump a puddle for me. I am so grateful that i got the chance to see myself, and the loving person i can be for someone else, while managing to remain strong and still handle her business. I failed to believe that God placed people in your life for a reason, either its their season or theres a lesson in the blessing. I do not regret ever Loving, i do not reget giving too much love-I regret the amount of time it took for me to see that this was something that was Not meant for me.

I have learned that in the midst of my heart wrenching break up, I still had me to live for and regardless of the fact that he would be there or not, i still had to pick myself up and move forward. I loved hard and i gave the best of me and it still failed, but there is a reason behind everything and i have no doubt in my mind that God will bring me something better.

My life is now consumed with what Mynika wants and need and no one else. I love me for my stregnth and my courage to love even if i was going to get hurt, fact is that i LOVED.

Giving too much of yourself to all the wrong people…

You see giving too much of yourself to all the wrong people will serve you no good doings, it will only leave you with pain and the lingering thoughts of what should have happened long ago. The thing about love is the thought of having to let go only enters your mind as losing something that once meant the world to you, only to have it thrown in your face that it never mattered anyway. I too have made the mistake of holding on too long, and i too have ended up with lingering thoughts of the past and how things were so good, too good to be true, in fact i too have lost myself in the illusion of  what letting go may bring. I feared for the goodbye and praised the pain it has caused me. Although i love myself, the fact of the matter is that i never loved myself enough to value myself past the mistreatment. I never loved me so much until i knew pain other than the hurt i encountered as i child. I know knew pain coming from the person who said that they loved me, and maybe they once cherished the person that i was, and now that the person that i am has changed so has the situation. The truth is is that love has a way of changing you. All of the good with the bad and all of the happiness with the sad eventually evolves into one big memoir of the life before and after you loved. Love can be the happiest thing and at the same time be the most heart wrenching feeling that ever entered your life. I have learned that giving too much of yourself to all the wrong people can make a hell of a person out of you and weather you accept it or you walk away either way it taught you a lesson….Sometimes the love that we are willingly giving to others should be within us first because only then is when we know our worth and we can value ourselves and walk away when we know that we deserve better. Love is something we all should experience, so don’t let one broken heart tear you away from ever feeling the blissful tingling and the butterflies that develop inside. Sometimes the change that you have become is what makes you stronger. 

Time wasted

I’ve wasted so much  time on all the wrong people, but as of today I live for me! I have to love myself harder because at the end of the day all I have is God and myself…

#self love is the best kind of LOVE 

-LuLu